Thursday, May 19, 2005

Yoda. Small. Green. Human?

With the final installment of the Star Wars, um, sixiligy? Sexiligy? Trilogy┬▓, yeah, that's it. With the final installment of the Star Wars trilogy┬▓, seen only by nerds at this point, it leaves many of them wondering, what the hell is Yoda anyway?

Well fine friends, I have come across several of these creatures in my travels. While the ones as old as the small green do-gooder are quite rare, younger versions of the fellow are as common as you or me. Yes that's right, if you are rather bright, or if you have read the title of this installment, you will realize that Yoda is in fact, Human. You may be thinking, "but dude, Yoda is like, green, 'n tiny 'n stuff." while this is not the slightest bit ordinary, it is possible.
First, we will tackle his Age.
Yoda is around 800 years old. Humans in this day and age only grow to about the age of 85 on this planet Terra. As you well know, Jedi are quite active beings, both physically and mentally, especially in their old age. While most elderly people's body and minds grow weak with lack of use, these Jedi's bodies and minds get even stronger with time. This can not go on forever though, we can see that in Yoda as is he physically weaker and mentally insane in the years after the Clone Wars. This is due to his lack of use of his body and mind in Jedi affairs, since there aren't really any Jedi affairs after the clone wars anyway. Eventually Yoda dies from being a crazy, old, possibly narcotic-addicted little fellow living alone on a swamp planet.

Now we shall consider Yoda's height.
Yoda is the size of your average 3 year old. How could this be? Altitude-challenged individuals have never lived as long as average-sized folks. Well, Yoda was not always in need of a floating basket to get around, he was quite possibly a very tall man when he was younger. Just look at any human who have, as the Maori people of New Zealand say, run with the great-wild lizards. As the timer ticks on in humans, they tend to start shrinking, both in height and girth. The older the person, the shorter they are, that is the way of life. While most people die before they get as short as Yoda, they do show how he could get that small.

As we are quite aware, Yoda has enormous ears.
Unlike the shrinking, people's ears get bigger as they get older. It's a fact. While you are oggling that poor old man to see how short he is, notice his abnormally large ears. As Yoda's ears got larger, they most certainly got heavier on the top, which caused them to start folding over, as with dog ears. This is why they are pointy at the ends.

As some of you may not know, Yoda is also green.
This is easily explainable, just look at the dark-skinned people's all over the world. They are colored that way because of their environment, not because of the curse of Judas, as some people believe it to be. Yoda's environment has made him to be this color. Little is known about Yoda's people, but they must be in an environment quite different from are own.

Yoda does not have the correct amount of fingers.
Perhaps this is due to some practice akin to Yubitsume, a Samurai practice that involves removing of one's own fingers, it is still practiced to some extent today. It is also possible that he just had a few lightsaber accidents after he had smoked a little too much.
With that said, just remember, you could actually look like Yoda some day, isn't that comforting.


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